27. 10. 02 Gale Day

Just finish reading Bridge Jones' Diary for about 20-30 pages and notice that she didn't write diary everyday as well. But i'm lazier than her. I haven't wrote diary for more than one month.

Here is my story:
This tuesday ( if i am right) or monday night, i just finished typing my assignment at Uni, went home with Jeffery. At the time i got on the bus ( Findland) I saw a familiar person, but I would rather it wasn't him- Pacol.
I tell myself- why why- let him see with Jeffery. He called my name. The bus was very crowed. He tried to close to me and talked. He said he just came from spain( why you were back so soon_ Have no choice. I introduced Jeffery to Pacol said: my boyfriend- Jeffery. Oh no....They shaked hands and we talked. U tried not to appeal that i was delighted to see him, acutally, i tried not to appeal my emotion. Only few words chat. He asked me the books I held in hadn ask me how was just like normal friend. Very soon, his stop was there. Before he left. hes sasd i'll call you ( really? i wasn't believe him very much, especially Jeffery was there). Anyway, he was gone. THere is a seat free. I and Jeffery sat down. I smilled and though again and again his words.

The truth is, he never calls me- I texted him twice but no reply. First, just at the night he left the bus" Welcome back to the worst weather country". no reply for two days.
second text: Hi, there, do you still have any CDs with you, can I borrow it? Apperently, U ask home to response0-no untill today. wondering, his lost his sim card again 0r?
Really try to give up maybe i am wrong with his message. Because last thrusday he sent me a message: i am going to spain, but coming back next week, i call you to have a drink or go out, i promise, take care. kisses
so fliertous...

22. Sep. 02

I want to list the words i learn today.
imperial: connected with empire
pilgrimage: a ong journey with ridiculous reasons
ally: with good relation to other countries
rain-starved ( don't know what am i writing)
off shore- close to "land"
recount:tell stories
conquer:
incline:think of something which most likely right
longtitude/latitude
hands-off
foe-enemy
amasse: to gradually collect money or information
realm: a general area of knowledge
lineage: a way which family were descended( from high to low)
a multitude of: a large number people or things

The day before yesterday i dreamed leon. It's a strane dream. why and how i ahve decided to forget him and didn't contact hiem for over 1 year.
But in the dream, i felt that i still wanted to be with him. I wonder that what is he doing now in Canada or in Taiwan or even married.
Marriage seems imposible for him. He some times is such a player.
Last night i dreamed i was dancing with Jeffery. I was desperate to dance eith all my desire. Oh how good it will be if i can leaern dance here.

28. June. 02 Friday Sunny

It's not very good to me. Only once per week to write the diary. Too lazy. This week I was so sleepless. Every morning I weak up andit seems another same day again. Life means nothing to me. Last night, i was thinking, that there were so many things I need to do, such as reading, practice grammer or even cleaning house. Why I always said that. I am bored. That's why I sit in front of the dest again and found you. Sunday is Jeffery's birthday. I bought a tie for him. I hipe he will like it later. I am going to Barbar's house. We are making dumplings.
Talk to yo later.

20. June.02 Sunny day

This is the moment I feel I'm not a live. Not alive but have no purpose. This afternoon you watched Ally Mcbeal, what do you feel about it. Ally falls in love with a 18-years-old boy. But is the end? She said no to the boy. Why? They even had the same dreams.
Because of the age diference? In America this kind of problem shouldn't be a problem, why they stopped, Because they all knew, they have no future?

A photo from Diasuki

Dear jonas,

Diasuki sent me this picture,
you look still the same.
how are you?
i wonder, have you forgotten already?
what am i in your heart now?
i guess, you are still the same. havn't changes a bit at all.
will we see each other again,
i miss you.